D#10, HW#4 - Revised Paragraphs x2

This paragraph was revised by adding a quote of the XXVI Amendment which emphasizes the current voting age in America. I introduced the quote, included in-text citation and included the bibliography at the bottom. Furthermore, I also revised my thesis statement. The previous thesis statement was so strong I have decided to use it within my conclusion paragraph. I also edited the content by adding the word 'of' prior to the ages and separating the emphasizing remark after a spaced hyphen.

There have been several attempts across the nation to lower the voting age in America, including the state of Arizona. The controversy surrounding the issue to lower the voting age is whether or not teenagers, over the age of 16, are mature enough to make well informed decisions. They are allowed to drive vehicles at the age of 15 – that requires constant 'good' decision making; obtain a job at the age of 16 – which requires paying taxes; receive permission from parents to get married at the age of 17 – that requires demonstration of adult responsibility and if convicted of a serious crime be tried as an adult in a court of law prior to turning the age of 18. Teenagers with adult responsibilities and expectations are currently not allowed to vote like an adult as the current age to vote in America is 18 according to the XXVI Amendment, which reads “The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age” (NARA, 2007). A few reasons why the state of Arizona should reconsider lowering the voting to 16 is educational opportunities, increase in voter turn out rates, and stronger communities.

NARA – The U.S. National Archives & Records Administration. (2007). Retrieved July 27, 2007 http://www.archives.gov/national-archives-experience/charters/constitution_amendments_11-27.html.


The following paragraph was added to my draft and includes only one citing. However, I included an in-text citation and bibliography at the bottom. I also introduced and summarized why this citation was important.

Additionally, as politicians and organizations promote awareness with voting and actively participating within communities, there are even more opportunities that the state of Arizona could take advantage of. One of these beneficial opportunities is to promote further education for students to begin creating a ‘good’ habit – voting. Engaging students while they are in the “still learning” process will initiate a habit that can be nurtured. According to KVUSA: “This ongoing education [opportunity] develops strong skills and habits for living in a democracy” (2007). Preparing teenagers is less challenging than trying to connect with most 18 year olds, who may be more focused on graduating, starting college and possibly moving away from home. This could also be one of the main causes that voter turn-out for the age group 18-24 has been very low. Establishing an early voting habit could potentially lead to voting consistency, thereby, increasing voter turn-out. Another beneficial opportunity is encouraging parents to discuss politics with students who participate in the Kids Voting USA program. Students learn civics in school and then continue learning by discussing what they’ve been taught at home with parents. Therefore, the voter turn-out rate would increase as parents become more responsive and motivated to act upon their civic duty to vote.

KVUSA. (2007). About Us. Kids Voting USA. Retrieved on July 10, 2007 from http://www.kidsvotingusa.org/page9592.cfm.